Okay, so my roommate Carly seems to have sweated out enough toxins that she's able to function on a semi-normal mindset. She's been taking my dog Biscuitface, out for walks, much to his relief, mine and probably the whole floor of our apartment building. And as a special treat she's been able to make the trip to Burger King for daily nourishment; Whoppers with Cheese. Really, all major food groups are faux represented here.
My sister Stella continues to gestate (ed. though you can't really tell where the baby starts and the Quarter Pounder with Cheese ends.) and there's still no sign of her former Brazillian boyfriend. Surprise, surprise. Another unproven hit and run. I love my sister Stella, but she lies around all day, watching Brazillian television and eating. True not much different than when she wasn't pregnant but she's become so complacent in her life...I think she's in for a hugely rude awakening soon.
As Carly has been out of commission, earnings wise, and Stella really hasn't ever earned any sort of living, it's up to me to bring home the bacon. (ed. even though you can'y leave the apartment to bring anything home and bacon on a Whopper with Cheese is extra.)
So I've decided to get out my old IBM Selectric (ed. Its like a PC only you only see words after they're printed out.) and write for tv like I used to. Being a shareholder in DHX aka Halifax Film, I think I may have an "in". Unfortunately, the ideas are not forthcoming. All I've come up with is a show called "Dora On The Go", where an animated girl talks to the audience to try and solve a puzzle i.e. quest. She has an animal sidekick who may or my not be wearing boots. Ah, they'll never go for that.
Speaking of Halifax Film, I woke up in a sweat last night because something reminded me that "we" may be in violation of the tax credit rules. Though we've raised $25M and then another $17M through investors, and another $2M through the Nova Scotia Business Inc. (ed. i.e. taxpayer dollars) I remembered that back in the initial days of the Nova Scotia Film and Video Tax Credit, there was a limit as to how much a company could be worth before getting more taxpayer dollars through the credit. This arcahic rule said that any company that was worth more than $25M shouldn't be accessing taxpayer dollars like they were some kind of welfare mother or something (ed. hello, people on welfare just got a $4/month raise! What more do they want?)
So I was quite relieved when I found that section had been deleted from the applicable legislation; phew. (ed. Is that the gov't's fiscal or ours? And when did we go public? Oh, never mind, film and tv is sexy and the best photo-op in the world!)
Now that section of the act says:
(a) the corporation is incorporated under the laws of Canada or a province of Canada and is a taxable Canadian corporation primarily carrying on business that is a film or video production business; (snore, Michael Donovan's a lawyer and he can hire someone to do this in their sleep)
(b) the corporation has a permanent establishment in Nova Scotia; (can you get more permanent than a bank? Well, how about one of Michael's two houses? Or Charles "the Green Arrow" Bishop's) (ed. I'd hate that, never knowing which house had my lucky socks in them.))
(c) at least 25% of salaries and wages of the corporation are eligible salaries. (again, Michael has taken care of this.)
I guess the gov't woke up and smelled the cappochino and figured, the bigger the better and if gov't money wasn't going to the squeegie kids (ed. why do their dogs have cellphones?) it should be spent on Rob Lowe's trailer.
My Whopper with Cheese is here so thats it for tonight. The list of Telefilm approved/financed scripts came out today so I shurely will be commenting on that tomorrow. Oh, bonus! Fries!
Wednesday 19 December 2007
Friday 14 December 2007
Random Friday Night Stuff!
It's Friday night in Halifax and I guess all the film and tv people are out partying, "'tis the season" as they say. I haven't seen my friend/editor, Maurice since he headed off to the NSFDC aka Film Nova Scotia party last night. I'm sure he's okay. I try not to worry but the last time he was gone for 24 hours like this, he was missing for two days. Then he showed up at my door saying he had been working on a reality show for the CBC called, "Eat, Drink, Puke: McLean's Magazine Finally Decides Canada's Best University. As we live between Dalhousie and St. Mary's I don't take sides. Actually, on a Friday night, I usually see both sides outside my window.
This season is a mixed blessing for me; I love the animated Christmas specials on TV, the coloured lights of the neighbouring houses and apartments, but I hate the bitter memories of Christmas' gone by. I don't want to "down you" but finding coal in our stockings was actually a blessing in Cape Breton, in the day. Once in a while we found an orange on the tracks between the colliries, and we didn't question where they came from. Um, memories of juicy railway oranges, now that's Christmas to me.
Anyhoo, back to Tv, in the now. The big news is that Apple has decided there is enough interest to offer Canadian TV shows for downloading. I haven't checked it out yet, but I have my fingers crossed that both seasons of "Blackfly" are available. Just try and keep me away from the computer for that. Apparently, the downloads are $1.99 each and if they don't charge 10% more for Blackfly, they don't realize the historical cash cow they have. I can't imagine what the Americans will think when they are offered the series.
In other news, Toronto's Ellen Page is featured in Entertainment Weekly and she's been nominated for the CANADIAN film "Juno" for a Golden Globe. (Or is she nominated for a Juno for Golden Globe?) Talented and so gosh darn cute.
Now someone told me (via anonymous e-mail) that Halifax Film's Christmas party includes a toy drive for underprivledged kids. Apparently you pay the wholesale price of one of the Lunar Jim toys and it's donated to some indigent child. Um, excuse me, but as a shareholder, I don't see a lot of "Oliver's" roaming the streets looking for a "Ted" or "Rover" toy. All I see are hooligan's who spraypaint the sides of buildings with grammatically incorrect anatomical descriptions. Dare I say I would like to provide them with a "Ripple" in a secure place. So let's not let the wholesale price of Chinese produced "action figures" be compared to what they sell for in Zellers. Let's keep that little secret to ourselves.
This arguement may be all for not, anyway as I don't put a lot of credibility in this report anyway. For one thing it assumes that Halifax Film will be giving away/donating/contributing to a cause. Sorry kids, business is business. Plus the other part of this supposed report that Charles (the Green Arrow Bishop) dressed up as Santa. Now, that, I'd leave the apartment to see..
This season is a mixed blessing for me; I love the animated Christmas specials on TV, the coloured lights of the neighbouring houses and apartments, but I hate the bitter memories of Christmas' gone by. I don't want to "down you" but finding coal in our stockings was actually a blessing in Cape Breton, in the day. Once in a while we found an orange on the tracks between the colliries, and we didn't question where they came from. Um, memories of juicy railway oranges, now that's Christmas to me.
Anyhoo, back to Tv, in the now. The big news is that Apple has decided there is enough interest to offer Canadian TV shows for downloading. I haven't checked it out yet, but I have my fingers crossed that both seasons of "Blackfly" are available. Just try and keep me away from the computer for that. Apparently, the downloads are $1.99 each and if they don't charge 10% more for Blackfly, they don't realize the historical cash cow they have. I can't imagine what the Americans will think when they are offered the series.
In other news, Toronto's Ellen Page is featured in Entertainment Weekly and she's been nominated for the CANADIAN film "Juno" for a Golden Globe. (Or is she nominated for a Juno for Golden Globe?) Talented and so gosh darn cute.
Now someone told me (via anonymous e-mail) that Halifax Film's Christmas party includes a toy drive for underprivledged kids. Apparently you pay the wholesale price of one of the Lunar Jim toys and it's donated to some indigent child. Um, excuse me, but as a shareholder, I don't see a lot of "Oliver's" roaming the streets looking for a "Ted" or "Rover" toy. All I see are hooligan's who spraypaint the sides of buildings with grammatically incorrect anatomical descriptions. Dare I say I would like to provide them with a "Ripple" in a secure place. So let's not let the wholesale price of Chinese produced "action figures" be compared to what they sell for in Zellers. Let's keep that little secret to ourselves.
This arguement may be all for not, anyway as I don't put a lot of credibility in this report anyway. For one thing it assumes that Halifax Film will be giving away/donating/contributing to a cause. Sorry kids, business is business. Plus the other part of this supposed report that Charles (the Green Arrow Bishop) dressed up as Santa. Now, that, I'd leave the apartment to see..
Friday 7 December 2007
Halifax Film/TV Celebrates 100! But not too loud, Okay...
Sorry about signing off early last night but I was feeling a little "under the weather". (ed. If by "weather" you mean "cosmopolitans" and by "under" you mean "had a dozen" than I agree.)
My editor tonight is Maurice (ed. Howdy), who has been here for more than 24 hours, which I'm sure is past the best before date, hint, hint. He came over last night after the Telefilm party, and the Shoe Shop after that. I'll pass the keyboard over to him to talk about the party.
(ed. Thanks. Not much to tell, I arrived about an hour after it started, fashionably late of course. I made my way to the bar and after watching the bartender painstakingly pour a tonic water out of a can into a glass for 13 minutes, I scored a lukewarm Keiths. The usual "in" crowd was there and I was able to draw upon my powers of invisibility, and not have any of them approach me and initiate conversation. I just hate the chit-chat that is common at these events.
I positioned myself in the boardroom which gave me access to snacks, a view of the main room and most importantly a back-up escape route should I be cornered by any "producer, writer, director, actor in training" that assumed I might be somebody important.
The highlight of the evening was when Gord Whittiker made a speech about the accomplishments of Telefilm Halifax i.e. Atlantic Provinces over the last year. And actually it sounded impresive; Chaz Thorne wrote two movies and directed one of them with that guy from Lethal weapon, no, not him, the other guy: Michael Melski was wrapping up a film he wrote and directed and Jay Dahl was "going to camera" in the new year. Maybe not "Men With Brooms" but still impressive. Especially since Telefilm "Papa" in Toronto, couldn't see the East Coast with a set of binoculars.
It was a bit unsettling when Gordon mentioned "Shake Hands With the Devil" as a high point for the industry in the province. Usually any mention of DHX/Halifax film project draw an enthusiastic response but last night it was half-hearted. It picked up a bit when it was revealed that someone from the company was in the room, but it died when that person was revealed to be Dana (the Link) Laundry, a number cruncher. Applause died completely when it was found that even he had either not bothered to show up or had left.
After that, I mingled a bit, without making eye contact, stole a phone and then left. The remainder of the evening is a blur.)
And, although I wasn't there, I must say the snacks (I can't spell h'ordeaves) were't that great. Maurice brought back some pita bread and humus and some sort of substance in a tartlet. Even with allowing for the fact they were in Maurice's pocket for ten hours, they were not that good. Shrimp anyone? Or scallops, or salmon on a cracker? This is Eastern Canada after all.
Anyhoo, in other N.S. film news, "A Bug and a Bag of Weed" is debuting in theatres this week. (ed. this title is not going to work in Goerge Bush's America). This is a locally written, shot, acted, etc., etc. movie. Apparently, with telefilm money, a bunch of guys made a movie for $500,000. Sounds like a lot of money but, no offence, my company (ed. note: the writer owns 1000 shares of DHX/Halifax Film) spends that on Christmas bonus's. (ed. Note: Just Above the Line. Not employees or shareholders.)
I don't know of anyone who's gone to see the movie or if it's any good but DHX bought animation giant Studio B this week.
That brings me to my personal life, sorry to bore you all again but...there's three of us living in this one bedroom apartment (five if you count my dog Biscuitface and the thing growing in my sister's womb), and there's very little income coming in.
So, I have decided to return to the career i left behind, oh so many years ago; writing. I figure that instead of trying to write for shows that are already on the air, I would CREATE (yes, in capitals, WGA, my BROTHERS in arms!) a show and pitch it to a producer who has better access than me to the broadcasters. Maybe Halifax Film, my brethren.
My editor tonight is Maurice (ed. Howdy), who has been here for more than 24 hours, which I'm sure is past the best before date, hint, hint. He came over last night after the Telefilm party, and the Shoe Shop after that. I'll pass the keyboard over to him to talk about the party.
(ed. Thanks. Not much to tell, I arrived about an hour after it started, fashionably late of course. I made my way to the bar and after watching the bartender painstakingly pour a tonic water out of a can into a glass for 13 minutes, I scored a lukewarm Keiths. The usual "in" crowd was there and I was able to draw upon my powers of invisibility, and not have any of them approach me and initiate conversation. I just hate the chit-chat that is common at these events.
I positioned myself in the boardroom which gave me access to snacks, a view of the main room and most importantly a back-up escape route should I be cornered by any "producer, writer, director, actor in training" that assumed I might be somebody important.
The highlight of the evening was when Gord Whittiker made a speech about the accomplishments of Telefilm Halifax i.e. Atlantic Provinces over the last year. And actually it sounded impresive; Chaz Thorne wrote two movies and directed one of them with that guy from Lethal weapon, no, not him, the other guy: Michael Melski was wrapping up a film he wrote and directed and Jay Dahl was "going to camera" in the new year. Maybe not "Men With Brooms" but still impressive. Especially since Telefilm "Papa" in Toronto, couldn't see the East Coast with a set of binoculars.
It was a bit unsettling when Gordon mentioned "Shake Hands With the Devil" as a high point for the industry in the province. Usually any mention of DHX/Halifax film project draw an enthusiastic response but last night it was half-hearted. It picked up a bit when it was revealed that someone from the company was in the room, but it died when that person was revealed to be Dana (the Link) Laundry, a number cruncher. Applause died completely when it was found that even he had either not bothered to show up or had left.
After that, I mingled a bit, without making eye contact, stole a phone and then left. The remainder of the evening is a blur.)
And, although I wasn't there, I must say the snacks (I can't spell h'ordeaves) were't that great. Maurice brought back some pita bread and humus and some sort of substance in a tartlet. Even with allowing for the fact they were in Maurice's pocket for ten hours, they were not that good. Shrimp anyone? Or scallops, or salmon on a cracker? This is Eastern Canada after all.
Anyhoo, in other N.S. film news, "A Bug and a Bag of Weed" is debuting in theatres this week. (ed. this title is not going to work in Goerge Bush's America). This is a locally written, shot, acted, etc., etc. movie. Apparently, with telefilm money, a bunch of guys made a movie for $500,000. Sounds like a lot of money but, no offence, my company (ed. note: the writer owns 1000 shares of DHX/Halifax Film) spends that on Christmas bonus's. (ed. Note: Just Above the Line. Not employees or shareholders.)
I don't know of anyone who's gone to see the movie or if it's any good but DHX bought animation giant Studio B this week.
That brings me to my personal life, sorry to bore you all again but...there's three of us living in this one bedroom apartment (five if you count my dog Biscuitface and the thing growing in my sister's womb), and there's very little income coming in.
So, I have decided to return to the career i left behind, oh so many years ago; writing. I figure that instead of trying to write for shows that are already on the air, I would CREATE (yes, in capitals, WGA, my BROTHERS in arms!) a show and pitch it to a producer who has better access than me to the broadcasters. Maybe Halifax Film, my brethren.
Thursday 6 December 2007
Halifax Film Stuff - Thursday, December 6th, 2007. A Day that Will Live In...well, untill 12:00
Okay, so maybe I shouldn't be blogging tonight because of one too many cosmopolitans (ed. one = six) but its been over a week and people are calammering for news of whats happening in tv and film in Nova Scotia this last week. (ed. perhaps "clammering" is what you meant but not what is real). Anyhoo, my friend Maurice will be editing for you tonight (ed. Hi.)
Maurice is lucky in that, unlike me, he can leave the apartment and interact with the "real" world. Well, not really, he was at the Telefilm Christmas party tonight.
This blog is supposed to be about the "bix", I mean "bix", shit, why do they pot the x so close to the x on the keyboard. I mean Z. But people (I assume they're not seni-cognigent robots from the future) want to know what's happening here. A brief, then back to the news. My sister is even more pregnant than last week, my roommate, Carly is still a drug addicted Ho, and my coc-a poo Bisuitface, has not been walked in three days and ironically is constipated.
I live in a one bedroom apartment.
On the good side DHX aka Halifax Film has bought Studio B. Just like that, they've scooped up the production company that made George of the Jungle, Ricky Spocket, ...and othe stuff. We are #1! (ed. Note: the authour owns 1,000 shares of DHX.) Right, so what are those shares trading at tonight? Let me check.....$1.70.
Wow. That's what it was when I inherited them.
Since I lost my job selling ointments to standup comedians, life has been a bit of a struggle.
I'm feeling a bit flemmy right now, but I'll finish this blog tomorrow night.
Maurice is lucky in that, unlike me, he can leave the apartment and interact with the "real" world. Well, not really, he was at the Telefilm Christmas party tonight.
This blog is supposed to be about the "bix", I mean "bix", shit, why do they pot the x so close to the x on the keyboard. I mean Z. But people (I assume they're not seni-cognigent robots from the future) want to know what's happening here. A brief, then back to the news. My sister is even more pregnant than last week, my roommate, Carly is still a drug addicted Ho, and my coc-a poo Bisuitface, has not been walked in three days and ironically is constipated.
I live in a one bedroom apartment.
On the good side DHX aka Halifax Film has bought Studio B. Just like that, they've scooped up the production company that made George of the Jungle, Ricky Spocket, ...and othe stuff. We are #1! (ed. Note: the authour owns 1,000 shares of DHX.) Right, so what are those shares trading at tonight? Let me check.....$1.70.
Wow. That's what it was when I inherited them.
Since I lost my job selling ointments to standup comedians, life has been a bit of a struggle.
I'm feeling a bit flemmy right now, but I'll finish this blog tomorrow night.
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