Not really,
But the CBC came out with their fall programming today to nobody's surprise but them! They seemed especially exuberant.
"In a glitzy afternoon ceremony presided over by host George Stroumboulopoulos (can this guy be any better spokesperson for exuberance!) and peppered with the broadcaster's most famous faces,
(Mr. Dress-up, Bruno Gerussi, the Air Farce and other dead celebs?) the CBC unveiled a raft of programming — both brand new and returning shows — scheduled to hit the airwaves beginning this fall.
Little Mosque on the Prairie, (CBC has ordered 212 episodes, not really, they ordered 20 which is a huge commitment, not seen since the King of Kensington. Good or bad, discuss. They usually order six-packs so this is unusual).
The high-energy presentation (Really? This is CBC remember!) kicked off with a nod to the CBC's recent runaway hit, (eh, okay "runaway." remember we're all shareholders, happy thoughts, happy thoughts). Little Mosque on the Prairie, which was given the heady title of "saviour of the CBC" and is one of next season's highlights. (okay......)
Other programs set for sophomore seasons include crime drama Intelligence, (surprise! Oh what the hell more exclamation marks, !!!) the entrepreneur-based reality show Dragon's Den (it is cute) and a language-related edition of the quiz show Test the Nation. (and this is fun. But a lot of that is Wendy Mesley, ummmm)
Though many criticized the public broadcaster's entrance into the world of reality programming, the audience has warmed to it, said Kirstine Layfield, CBC-TV's executive director of network programming.
'Audiences saw that we weren't going to this kind of weird, Extreme Makeover plastic-surgery place (um, unless Peter Mansbridge counts) … they understand we're doing this with a purpose.'
—Kirstine Layfield, CBC-TV "It was hard for people to understand what reality TV was in the world of CBC," she said Tuesday afternoon. ('cept she said she didn't want to see any more proposals from east coast, those dark comedy people. Redundancy alert! (but that's were where Rick Mercer and 22 Minutes come from.) East coast is more to the right on the big pink map than Quebec))
Current affairs and entertainment show The Hour, hosted by Stroumboulopoulos, comedy hits like Rick Mercer Report, (lifer) long-running drama Coronation Street (money maker; if only CBC could come up with something like this. Oh, right they tried but failed cause they didn't understand that story and characters were important. But that was the previous administration. Where is Fred Nickoloidous? Hopefully off doing nothing which, I know...) and David Suzuki's venerable The Nature of Things (does Suzuki have pictures of someone with a german shepard or does he just rip his clothes off everytime they have a meeting to cancel him?) are among other returning favourites.
Flagship newscast The National will be added to CBC-TV's expanding slate of high-definition programming, joining documentary specials and hockey broadcasts. (Um, outside of Toronto and Alberta, nobody cares)
The upcoming talent search Triple Sensation will see competitors who must excel at acting, singing and dancing.
"We didn't follow any of those judging gimmicks," said actress Cynthia Dale, who joins Garth Drabinsky as one of the show's five judges.
(okay, anything with Cynthia Dale; I'm in. She is an accomplished actress, stage screen etc; but I still hope to stumble across that movie she made where she was the fitness instructor in competition back in the eigthies. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can sweat and maintain her poise like this lady!)
"We have to try things that are different. We can't just make Canadian versions of American shows. (And we shouldn't. Because we can't do it! And we actually have our own identity. sigh, I stop now.)
We have to make things that are truly our own." (But as Barrie Dunn, one of the maestros behind Trailer Park Boys said, "You should take a risk")(sic)"
So that's all I have to say about the CBC.
Time to check the stock price of DHX, the masterminds behind 22 MInutes, Lunar Jim, Poko etc. If you're into Canadian TV for anything but profit, move along. I have to check and see how my 1000 shares are doing. Excuse me for a minute. (I really am minimizing to check the stock price, so hold on)
(Elevator Music)
We're aT $1.48 which isn't so bad considering my cost, nothing. (inheiretence) But I do feel bad for the board of directors who were granted:
Sir Graham Day, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to J. William Ritchie, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Joe Medjuck, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Donald Wright, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Dana Landry, CFO 322,500 $2.25
Granted to Employees 24,047 $2.25
Well, they didn't actually "buy in" like they used their own money.
Although I've theoretically lost money since my inheiritence, these millionaires have lost...well nothing. Prices are down and their shares were essentially free so basically they're just losing ...gravy they never had before.
And Dana Landry borrowed money to buy his shares so... is it just me or do rich people risk nothing to gain more money?
Guess it's just me.
Ouch, too bad the stocks at $1.48 but I think this shows confidence!
But I know my fellow potential shareholedrs will appreciate the following Kinks!
Wednesday 30 May 2007
Monday 28 May 2007
WTF?
The last week has been a series of up's and downs here in the apartment. My sister's exchange student tenant/boyfriend, Carl, has vanished. Into thin air. I know the word "literally" is overused by the media but in this case...
Now I know Carl grew up in the jungles of Brazil and probably knows how to vanish into the underbrush at the first sign of danger from a McCaw or whatever, but he was living here with us in southend Halifax (ed. some would say that's jungle like).
Okay, but when you're fleeing for your life you don't grab the the big screen HD tv and DVD/VCR player with you when you scurry into the underbrush! Crap, I even suspected this was going to happen and put windchimes on the suckers. Not a tinkle.
Sigh.
So here I sit with my sister Stella, who's constantly complaining about the infarction in her leg, whatever that is, watching basic cable on a puny 27" screen that I'm sure even the natives in Borneo would scoff at, especially during world cup!
Anyhoo, I was happy to see that my stock in DHX (Halifax Film Company) has gone up.
My 1000 shares are now worth $1.65 each! But, then I found this little notice hidden away after all the 3rd quarter "parade of happiness".
"Wednesday May 16, 11:33 am ET
In press release c9498 sent today at 2:00e, errors occurred in the column headings of the Consolidated Statements of Operations and Deficit and the Consolidated Statements of Cash Flows, as well as in Notes (number sign) 6, 13, 14 and 15 of the Notes to Consolidated Financial Statements. They all reference "three-months ended", but the last two columns on the far right should read "nine-months ended". Corrected copy follows:"
Oh, that's okay. Mistakes will happen. I once put a quarter in the parking meter next to mine. So for 25 cents, a neighbourfriend (ed. friend you don't know) gets a freebie. Good for him.
But really, this is like, sorry officer, I thought I was doing 100 kms but apparently I was doing 200 million!
Do the people putting these figures together for the Toronto and London stock exchange realize that this is important?
Now I don't know much about the number crunching but if anyone were to stay awake while reading the financial statements (I haven't slept well in a long time, anyway), they would notice that the income/revenue that were trumpeted so highly for three months were actually for nine months. Sorta like your girlfriend, saying "that was Fantastic!!!", but she meant "wow, that was okay, considering the time involved, you know ....." The ....'s are her's, you know how they trail off. ...
Now I know Carl grew up in the jungles of Brazil and probably knows how to vanish into the underbrush at the first sign of danger from a McCaw or whatever, but he was living here with us in southend Halifax (ed. some would say that's jungle like).
Okay, but when you're fleeing for your life you don't grab the the big screen HD tv and DVD/VCR player with you when you scurry into the underbrush! Crap, I even suspected this was going to happen and put windchimes on the suckers. Not a tinkle.
Sigh.
So here I sit with my sister Stella, who's constantly complaining about the infarction in her leg, whatever that is, watching basic cable on a puny 27" screen that I'm sure even the natives in Borneo would scoff at, especially during world cup!
Anyhoo, I was happy to see that my stock in DHX (Halifax Film Company) has gone up.
My 1000 shares are now worth $1.65 each! But, then I found this little notice hidden away after all the 3rd quarter "parade of happiness".
"Wednesday May 16, 11:33 am ET
In press release c9498 sent today at 2:00e, errors occurred in the column headings of the Consolidated Statements of Operations and Deficit and the Consolidated Statements of Cash Flows, as well as in Notes (number sign) 6, 13, 14 and 15 of the Notes to Consolidated Financial Statements. They all reference "three-months ended", but the last two columns on the far right should read "nine-months ended". Corrected copy follows:"
Oh, that's okay. Mistakes will happen. I once put a quarter in the parking meter next to mine. So for 25 cents, a neighbourfriend (ed. friend you don't know) gets a freebie. Good for him.
But really, this is like, sorry officer, I thought I was doing 100 kms but apparently I was doing 200 million!
Do the people putting these figures together for the Toronto and London stock exchange realize that this is important?
Now I don't know much about the number crunching but if anyone were to stay awake while reading the financial statements (I haven't slept well in a long time, anyway), they would notice that the income/revenue that were trumpeted so highly for three months were actually for nine months. Sorta like your girlfriend, saying "that was Fantastic!!!", but she meant "wow, that was okay, considering the time involved, you know ....." The ....'s are her's, you know how they trail off. ...
Wednesday 23 May 2007
I'll Buy You Pearls, Now Please!
Well, it's been a busy couple of days. Eloise is here trying to comfort my sister Stella. She's been crying ever since her Brazilian boyfriend stormed out of here last night.
I was in the other room so I don't know what happened but apparently she wasn't all that fond of a present he gave her. Since my divorce, I've realized it's a mug's game trying to figure out women. Actually, it was before that but that's when I gave up trying.
But why she would be upset because he gave her a pearl necklace? I guess she was sleeping at the time but I'm seeing the only breach of etiquete was his timing.
Anyway, we haven't seen him since and the apartment is full of crying women.
But my stock is down $ .03. I have a thousand shares so I'm losing...some cash. Should I be worried? Maybe I should cash in and buy that Daredevil #1 they have at Strange Adventures. That can't be worse than gambling my future on this stupid stock market.
Symbol Last Trade $ Change % Change Volume Exchange*
DHX 1.450 +0.000 +0.00 6,800 T
And sorry DHX, not DMX as in my previous blogs. My mistake and I hope not a lot of you bought shares in Demi-Morbid Xcruciating Films. Probably, you might want to sell them before the authorities show up at your door.
I was in the other room so I don't know what happened but apparently she wasn't all that fond of a present he gave her. Since my divorce, I've realized it's a mug's game trying to figure out women. Actually, it was before that but that's when I gave up trying.
But why she would be upset because he gave her a pearl necklace? I guess she was sleeping at the time but I'm seeing the only breach of etiquete was his timing.
Anyway, we haven't seen him since and the apartment is full of crying women.
But my stock is down $ .03. I have a thousand shares so I'm losing...some cash. Should I be worried? Maybe I should cash in and buy that Daredevil #1 they have at Strange Adventures. That can't be worse than gambling my future on this stupid stock market.
Symbol Last Trade $ Change % Change Volume Exchange*
DHX 1.450 +0.000 +0.00 6,800 T
And sorry DHX, not DMX as in my previous blogs. My mistake and I hope not a lot of you bought shares in Demi-Morbid Xcruciating Films. Probably, you might want to sell them before the authorities show up at your door.
Monday 21 May 2007
I Own Halifax Film Company!
Well, not quite but I am a shareholder. For once in my life I own something of value. (ed. apparently Pez dispensers are not considered currency in many places.)
After extensive research I've discovered that not only were my previous blogs unobjective and unfair they were just plain mean.
Halifax Film Company has created hundreds of jobs for animators who toil away like asian tailors doing what they love to do; animate. Why if it wasn't for this company these kids would be out creating grafetti and making things move excrutiatingly slow.
And as far as me, criticizing the company for not donating to charity or providing scholarships to people who can't afford to go to "stop-motion school" or whatever the hell they call it; remember people it's called SHOW BUSINESS! If you can't play by the rules, maybe you shouldn't be playing the game.
And I'm not saying this just because I own 1000 shares in DMX (Halifax Film Company). Call me a selfish hypocrite if you want.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
So now, let's talk about me. I've been reading up on investments, via internet research (ed. Is there any other kind?) and I've pieced together my net worth, projections and, um, integrated cash/value ratio. Okay, so, I'm not really a numbers guy.
But I went to the DMX quarterly report and found this:
"- Revenues for the third quarter ended March 31, 2007 increased over 216%
from the same period of 2006;
- The number of delivered half-hours of production increased 97% to 33.
from 17 in the same period of 2006.
Michael Donovan, Chairman and CEO, commented,
"We continue to deliver on our strategy. During the quarter, we were pleased to have launched several new series and closed two significant merchandising and licensing deals. We anticipate continued growth across our four strategic drivers, being increasing merchandising & licensing revenue, expanding the television and film library, leveraging our international distribution capabilities and exploiting new content platforms." "
I'm not sure what my fellow shareholder Michael Donovan said but it all sounds upbeat. He could be talking about widgets but really people, is enteratinment in this country no better than quantity per dollar anyway? I think that's what God would want.
And note to Michael: The number of hours of programming generated; can we pump that production out a bit faster people!
Here's some more financials:
"The growth in revenue included a 66% organic increase to $2.510 million in proprietary production... "
I don't get most of this financial mumbo jumbo but look; we're a money maker and we're organic! So shut up.
And as my grandfather always said "invest in land, cause they ain't making it any more" !
"Acquisitions
During the nine-month period ended March 31, 2007, the following
acquisitions occurred:
(a) On July 1, 2006 (the "Effective Date"), the Company completed a
business acquisition and acquired all of the issued and
outstanding shares of Electropolis Studios Incorporated for cash
consideration of $31,852."
Does this mean I own part of a soundstage? On the Halifax waterfront? This has got to be worth millions! Smart shopping!
And we own something else:
"(e) On April 7, 2006 (the "Effective Date"), the Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Funny Farm Productions Limited, a film production company for cash consideration of $90,073."
I'll have to google that; never heard of it. But I'm sure its valuable! (ed. culturally speaking, you mean?"
And we own this:
"$0.245 million-1 half-hour for the pilot of The Truth About"
Um, never heard of it. But, we own this:
"On April 7, 2006 (the Effective Date), The Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Boy Girl Productions Canada Limited ("Boy Girl"), a film production company for cash consideration of $128,719."
Um, I did google this but I'm hoping it has nothing to do with the website that turned up. Freaks!
And we own this:
"On May 19, 2006, the Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Decode Entertainment Inc. ("Decode"), a television production company, for the total consideration of $17,961,095."
Yeah! Shake your money maker!
But here's more:
"Along with further penetration of the Decode library, (ed. this sounds naughty!) the distribution team has been able to successfully place more than 20 titles from the Company's current production slate and library in multiple territories throughout the world."
Dollars, pesos, rubles, bring it on!
"the Company has over 55 half-hours of contracted proprietary programs,
made up of 9 different episodic television series, which are scheduled for
delivery. "
Oh yeah, talk to papa! You know when they talk about television in these terms it just sounds more entertaining. And isn't that what we're all after folks!
Are we liquid? I feel liquid!
"4 Amounts receivable
Trade 12,079,642
Income taxes receivable 135,606
Goods and services taxes recoverable 388,569
Federal and provincial film tax credits
and other government assistance 22,115,876
Due from an officer and director 250,000
Check out that Gov't "assistance". Assist me Stephen! Ahhahahahahahaaa! But, excuse me, who the hell owes us $250,000? Can we not get our ducks in a row?!
And here are my fellow shareholders (actually onlt potential shareholders are listed here but I'm sure they have the sense God gave them and already own shares):
"c. Summary of options and warrants
Options
Granted to Sir Graham Day, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to J. William Ritchie, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Joe Medjuck, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Donald Wright, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Dana Landry, CFO 322,500 $2.25
Granted to Employees 24,047 $2.25
Ouch, too bad the stocks at $1.48 but I think this show confidence!
Gosh, I can't wait till the next shareholder's meeting. I'm sure there will be the usual official meeting with the proles, but afterwards some of the more prominant shareholders will retire to the Halifax Club for cognac, cosmopolitans and cigars.
Being recognized not just as an ordinary shareholder but as a voice of television's cultural side (having offered several jokes to my friends at America's Funniest Videos), I will be invited to join them.
I can picture us in the main room: me, Michael Donovan, Charles "the Green Arrow" Bishop, Dana "money guy" Landry and Bill "whoever he is" Ritchie. We're all sharing bon mots back and forth. "Oh, no more reparte for me, thanks", I say, "I'm full". The others chuckle.
It's been a good day.
After extensive research I've discovered that not only were my previous blogs unobjective and unfair they were just plain mean.
Halifax Film Company has created hundreds of jobs for animators who toil away like asian tailors doing what they love to do; animate. Why if it wasn't for this company these kids would be out creating grafetti and making things move excrutiatingly slow.
And as far as me, criticizing the company for not donating to charity or providing scholarships to people who can't afford to go to "stop-motion school" or whatever the hell they call it; remember people it's called SHOW BUSINESS! If you can't play by the rules, maybe you shouldn't be playing the game.
And I'm not saying this just because I own 1000 shares in DMX (Halifax Film Company). Call me a selfish hypocrite if you want.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
So now, let's talk about me. I've been reading up on investments, via internet research (ed. Is there any other kind?) and I've pieced together my net worth, projections and, um, integrated cash/value ratio. Okay, so, I'm not really a numbers guy.
But I went to the DMX quarterly report and found this:
"- Revenues for the third quarter ended March 31, 2007 increased over 216%
from the same period of 2006;
- The number of delivered half-hours of production increased 97% to 33.
from 17 in the same period of 2006.
Michael Donovan, Chairman and CEO, commented,
"We continue to deliver on our strategy. During the quarter, we were pleased to have launched several new series and closed two significant merchandising and licensing deals. We anticipate continued growth across our four strategic drivers, being increasing merchandising & licensing revenue, expanding the television and film library, leveraging our international distribution capabilities and exploiting new content platforms." "
I'm not sure what my fellow shareholder Michael Donovan said but it all sounds upbeat. He could be talking about widgets but really people, is enteratinment in this country no better than quantity per dollar anyway? I think that's what God would want.
And note to Michael: The number of hours of programming generated; can we pump that production out a bit faster people!
Here's some more financials:
"The growth in revenue included a 66% organic increase to $2.510 million in proprietary production... "
I don't get most of this financial mumbo jumbo but look; we're a money maker and we're organic! So shut up.
And as my grandfather always said "invest in land, cause they ain't making it any more" !
"Acquisitions
During the nine-month period ended March 31, 2007, the following
acquisitions occurred:
(a) On July 1, 2006 (the "Effective Date"), the Company completed a
business acquisition and acquired all of the issued and
outstanding shares of Electropolis Studios Incorporated for cash
consideration of $31,852."
Does this mean I own part of a soundstage? On the Halifax waterfront? This has got to be worth millions! Smart shopping!
And we own something else:
"(e) On April 7, 2006 (the "Effective Date"), the Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Funny Farm Productions Limited, a film production company for cash consideration of $90,073."
I'll have to google that; never heard of it. But I'm sure its valuable! (ed. culturally speaking, you mean?"
And we own this:
"$0.245 million-1 half-hour for the pilot of The Truth About"
Um, never heard of it. But, we own this:
"On April 7, 2006 (the Effective Date), The Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Boy Girl Productions Canada Limited ("Boy Girl"), a film production company for cash consideration of $128,719."
Um, I did google this but I'm hoping it has nothing to do with the website that turned up. Freaks!
And we own this:
"On May 19, 2006, the Company acquired all of the issued and outstanding shares of Decode Entertainment Inc. ("Decode"), a television production company, for the total consideration of $17,961,095."
Yeah! Shake your money maker!
But here's more:
"Along with further penetration of the Decode library, (ed. this sounds naughty!) the distribution team has been able to successfully place more than 20 titles from the Company's current production slate and library in multiple territories throughout the world."
Dollars, pesos, rubles, bring it on!
"the Company has over 55 half-hours of contracted proprietary programs,
made up of 9 different episodic television series, which are scheduled for
delivery. "
Oh yeah, talk to papa! You know when they talk about television in these terms it just sounds more entertaining. And isn't that what we're all after folks!
Are we liquid? I feel liquid!
"4 Amounts receivable
Trade 12,079,642
Income taxes receivable 135,606
Goods and services taxes recoverable 388,569
Federal and provincial film tax credits
and other government assistance 22,115,876
Due from an officer and director 250,000
Check out that Gov't "assistance". Assist me Stephen! Ahhahahahahahaaa! But, excuse me, who the hell owes us $250,000? Can we not get our ducks in a row?!
And here are my fellow shareholders (actually onlt potential shareholders are listed here but I'm sure they have the sense God gave them and already own shares):
"c. Summary of options and warrants
Options
Granted to Sir Graham Day, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to J. William Ritchie, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Joe Medjuck, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Donald Wright, Director 100,000 $2.25
Granted to Dana Landry, CFO 322,500 $2.25
Granted to Employees 24,047 $2.25
Ouch, too bad the stocks at $1.48 but I think this show confidence!
Gosh, I can't wait till the next shareholder's meeting. I'm sure there will be the usual official meeting with the proles, but afterwards some of the more prominant shareholders will retire to the Halifax Club for cognac, cosmopolitans and cigars.
Being recognized not just as an ordinary shareholder but as a voice of television's cultural side (having offered several jokes to my friends at America's Funniest Videos), I will be invited to join them.
I can picture us in the main room: me, Michael Donovan, Charles "the Green Arrow" Bishop, Dana "money guy" Landry and Bill "whoever he is" Ritchie. We're all sharing bon mots back and forth. "Oh, no more reparte for me, thanks", I say, "I'm full". The others chuckle.
It's been a good day.
On to the the Golden Shower for God's Sake!
My sister Stella and her Brazillian exchange student boyfriend have been arguing all day. He wants to go out and buy things (Hey Carl, Different Strokes is on DVD.) but Stella wants to go to my Aunt's 50th anniversary shower, which I believe is the Golden one, I think.
It was fifty years ago today that her intended husband Ted, ran from the alter; literally he ran. Tragic at the time, my Aunt soon considered it a sign from God as Ted went on to rob a bank and spend most of the rest of his life on the lamb (ed. an odd thing to ride, especially if the authorities are chasing you.)
Anyway my Aunt Trisha never married and celebrates her close call every year with family and friends. And as I cannot leave the apartment, it's up to Stella to go and enjoy tiny sandwiches and cheese with flavourings in them.
I just want them both out of the apartment so I can read my book "Investing in Canada for Dummies."
I've come into 1000 shares of DMX (Halifax Film Company) and I want to be able to figure what to do with them
Should I keep the shares hoping that the returns will comfort me in my old age, or should I cash in now and buy that "The Hills Have Eyes" original movie poster (with lobby cards) that I've had my eye on?
It was fifty years ago today that her intended husband Ted, ran from the alter; literally he ran. Tragic at the time, my Aunt soon considered it a sign from God as Ted went on to rob a bank and spend most of the rest of his life on the lamb (ed. an odd thing to ride, especially if the authorities are chasing you.)
Anyway my Aunt Trisha never married and celebrates her close call every year with family and friends. And as I cannot leave the apartment, it's up to Stella to go and enjoy tiny sandwiches and cheese with flavourings in them.
I just want them both out of the apartment so I can read my book "Investing in Canada for Dummies."
I've come into 1000 shares of DMX (Halifax Film Company) and I want to be able to figure what to do with them
Should I keep the shares hoping that the returns will comfort me in my old age, or should I cash in now and buy that "The Hills Have Eyes" original movie poster (with lobby cards) that I've had my eye on?
Saturday 19 May 2007
Bits and Bites
Just have to toss off a few things here:
- CBC has cancelled the Gil Deacon Show. This was a feel-good chat show devoted to crafts and feelings aimed at women over the age of fifty on high dosages of anti-depressants. It will be replaced by Hinterland Who's Who's Greatest Hits.
- The local newspaper reported that Shaun Majumder will be one of the stars of a new show for Fox. (See my posting for April 6 for the long-winded details)
- People have commented that I seem to be picking on Halifax Film Company (aka DMX) and that will stop. Apparently they think I'm some sort of hippy who cares more about culture than money. I'd rather not blog if people think I'm being unfair.
- the CRTC is unleashing the advertising chains from broadcasters. Currently limited to 14 minutes per hour, by 2008, Canadian networks can have as much advertising as they sell. Can we get TIVO in Canada?
- I love horror films. Let me clarify that. I love scary films and not torturing humans with power tools, films. I just watched Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte,
Sure a fake decapitation but no close-ups of sharp things going into peoples eyes. If only there were more scary, entertaining films but I feel there are none coming soon. Scary Stuff.
- Oh, and I just found out that I've been left 1,000 shares of DMX (Halifax Film Company) stock in a will.
So that's all for now on the state of TV in Canada.
- CBC has cancelled the Gil Deacon Show. This was a feel-good chat show devoted to crafts and feelings aimed at women over the age of fifty on high dosages of anti-depressants. It will be replaced by Hinterland Who's Who's Greatest Hits.
- The local newspaper reported that Shaun Majumder will be one of the stars of a new show for Fox. (See my posting for April 6 for the long-winded details)
- People have commented that I seem to be picking on Halifax Film Company (aka DMX) and that will stop. Apparently they think I'm some sort of hippy who cares more about culture than money. I'd rather not blog if people think I'm being unfair.
- the CRTC is unleashing the advertising chains from broadcasters. Currently limited to 14 minutes per hour, by 2008, Canadian networks can have as much advertising as they sell. Can we get TIVO in Canada?
- I love horror films. Let me clarify that. I love scary films and not torturing humans with power tools, films. I just watched Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte,
Sure a fake decapitation but no close-ups of sharp things going into peoples eyes. If only there were more scary, entertaining films but I feel there are none coming soon. Scary Stuff.
- Oh, and I just found out that I've been left 1,000 shares of DMX (Halifax Film Company) stock in a will.
So that's all for now on the state of TV in Canada.
Friday 18 May 2007
I Need a Little Break
This blog's been getting a bit too serious lately so I'll take a break for a video from The Syle Council.
And a little Stewie
Symbol Last Trade $ Change
DHX 1.460 +0.010 +0.69
DHX's 3rd Quarter report was released today. Looked through the stuff but couldn't see how much they contributed to charity or how many young filmmakers they've helped finance calling cards for. Must be there, somewhere.
And a little Stewie
Symbol Last Trade $ Change
DHX 1.460 +0.010 +0.69
DHX's 3rd Quarter report was released today. Looked through the stuff but couldn't see how much they contributed to charity or how many young filmmakers they've helped finance calling cards for. Must be there, somewhere.
Thursday 17 May 2007
The Office!!!!
Brilliant, brilliant brilliant!
I think I've seen most of The Office this year and I just watched the season finale. Steve Carrell of course is dynamite as is the rest of the cast. Favourite scenes:
- Jan and Michael on the drive away from the office after she's been led away by security from her job.
- Jim finds Pam's note.
- Jim and Pam on the beach immediately after.
- when Pam is talking to the camera in the conference room and Jim pops in to ask her to dinner, she says yes,and he leaves. The look on her face, the smile, the eyes...this is one brilliant actress. (ed. Get well soon!)
- but the absolute favourite is the ending when the head guy in New York is welcoming aboard the winner of the job that everyone's been applying for. I thought, he's on the phone to an unknown person and this is the cliffhanger until next year. But then they cut to the intern on the other end of the phone! he's getting the job! (ed. should we issue some sort of spoiler alert?)
The camera's close up on him and his "girlfriend" is sitting in the background. When he's done with the phone call she asks him "who was that?" He looks at us with a smile and says to her "we're done".
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!
The latest share prices for DHX, i.e. the company formed when Halifax Film Company acquired Decode:
Share Price:
Symbol Last Trade $ Change %Change Volume
DHX 1.450 -0.030 -2.03 5 1,308
Contributions to the tv film community:
DHX 0.00
I think I've seen most of The Office this year and I just watched the season finale. Steve Carrell of course is dynamite as is the rest of the cast. Favourite scenes:
- Jan and Michael on the drive away from the office after she's been led away by security from her job.
- Jim finds Pam's note.
- Jim and Pam on the beach immediately after.
- when Pam is talking to the camera in the conference room and Jim pops in to ask her to dinner, she says yes,and he leaves. The look on her face, the smile, the eyes...this is one brilliant actress. (ed. Get well soon!)
- but the absolute favourite is the ending when the head guy in New York is welcoming aboard the winner of the job that everyone's been applying for. I thought, he's on the phone to an unknown person and this is the cliffhanger until next year. But then they cut to the intern on the other end of the phone! he's getting the job! (ed. should we issue some sort of spoiler alert?)
The camera's close up on him and his "girlfriend" is sitting in the background. When he's done with the phone call she asks him "who was that?" He looks at us with a smile and says to her "we're done".
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!
The latest share prices for DHX, i.e. the company formed when Halifax Film Company acquired Decode:
Share Price:
Symbol Last Trade $ Change %Change Volume
DHX 1.450 -0.030 -2.03 5 1,308
Contributions to the tv film community:
DHX 0.00
Wednesday 16 May 2007
More Canadian TV
Watched a few more clips of 22 minutes on-line. "The Mom Show" and a "Homeless Expose". Both pretty funny. What I like is that they got their point across quickly and they did it in a funny way. Much better than the last SNL I saw a few years ago where they just came out with a "crazy" character and bit the limp premise to death for the next 8 minutes.
If I reallign my treatment time just right I may be able to watch a whole episode of 22. Now I'm intrigued.
If I reallign my treatment time just right I may be able to watch a whole episode of 22. Now I'm intrigued.
Nova Scotia TV Lottery
The big news being discussed over the TV blog-o-sphere (ed. blog-a-verse?, world-o-blog?) is the release of the schedules for the big networks in the states. Most decisions about what shows come back and those that don't, are made from a financial standpoint. (ed. and here?)
It must be getting harder and harder for the money people down there to figure out which shows stay and go. They have to factor in ratings with advertiser dollars, the rising costs of production, money from second windows and the great unpredictable, possible motherload, of DVD sales down the road. As long as they leave Cops alone, I'm okay. Why mess with success?
At least the rise in second plays on channels like USA, A&E etc, plus money from DVD sales have resulted in a the networks spending money on quality productions. Plus they finally clued in that if they put on crappy shows people were going to go to the other 499 channels.
It's not like in the day when you had to choose between Love Boat, Dukes of Hazzard and The Kallikaks. (ed. the who?) And there was no Blockbuster.
It's true, kids, listen to grampy.
But that's all I'm going to say on that topic. Today it's time to focus on the Nova Scotia TV industry. (ed. Yes, Virginia there is one)
The final, absolute last, official listing of money spent by the CTF on Canadian TV for the 2006/07 fiscal year, came out today. (ed. Tah Da! Fab!) But not like that.
Anyway the winner in Nova Scotia is the Halifax Film Company which received
$4,068,482 dollars of taxpayer dollars (ed. no! its from the CBC! Well, their envelope anyway, actually it came from the gov't and begrudgingly from cable company operators).
Most of the money was for kids shows Lunar Jim, Jungle Jim (ed. theme?) and Animal Jim, sorry, Animal Mechanicals. All from the mind of Jeff Rosen who years ago predicted the worlds fascination with Pirates by putting huge paper mache heads on people and having them flay their arms about as if they were talking to each other.
Also, This Hour is in there for about $400K.
(ed. Halifax film raised $20M through a share offering and is set to receive $1M in assistance from the province of Nova Scotia in payroll rebates plus $$$ from the province in tax credits and Nova Scotia Films Development money.)
Anyone want to make a shaky cam video about vampires for a BravoFact grant? My sister said we can borrow her betacam and a friend of mine has some fake fangs.
But I promised not to pick on millionairre lawyers leaving crumbs for the latest crop of aspiring Stephen Spielbergs. Go to Toronto if you want to make "filims"! you creative non-bottom line losers!
Other Nova Scotian productions (ed. for the rest of you cfa's, this doesn't stray outside the province so you might as well hit the knitting blog) include something called "Go Deep". Now unless this is a Friday night Showcase show, its probably yet another documentary about ships that have sailed. (ed. and sunk! At least show us a skeleton or two. Or have a bikini clad diver/explorer on board. Remember the poster for The Deep? Va va voom!)
There's Delilah and Julius for Teletoon in which local producers Collideascope are doing the grunt work for Decode. Decode was puchased by Halifax Film Company last year. (ed. okay, let it go. You're sounding like some sort of conspiracy nut!)
The last one on the list is Trailer Park Boys. Their CTF contribution is.............$2,771,704.
$2,771,704.
Math time.
Now I don't know if this represents the 20% License top up fee or the equity investment or a combination of both. I've read all the mind-numbing CTF Guidelines until my latest cosmopolitan hit it mark.
If it's 20% then the budget would be
$2,771,704/.2 = $13,858,000 which would be rediculous.
Let's say the license fee/equity combination is 35% of the budget. Fair enough?
$2,771,704/.35 = $7,919,514
Hell, that can't be right. Let's use 50%
$2,771,704/.5 = $5,543,000 (rounding)
Um, so that would mean that each episode of the 10 episode season would cost $554,300 each.
Um...
You all have seen Trailer Park boys, right?
Methinks this year, Bubbles get's his own furlined trailer with a golden hooker.
Hey, Michael Donovan, stop smirking.
It must be getting harder and harder for the money people down there to figure out which shows stay and go. They have to factor in ratings with advertiser dollars, the rising costs of production, money from second windows and the great unpredictable, possible motherload, of DVD sales down the road. As long as they leave Cops alone, I'm okay. Why mess with success?
At least the rise in second plays on channels like USA, A&E etc, plus money from DVD sales have resulted in a the networks spending money on quality productions. Plus they finally clued in that if they put on crappy shows people were going to go to the other 499 channels.
It's not like in the day when you had to choose between Love Boat, Dukes of Hazzard and The Kallikaks. (ed. the who?) And there was no Blockbuster.
It's true, kids, listen to grampy.
But that's all I'm going to say on that topic. Today it's time to focus on the Nova Scotia TV industry. (ed. Yes, Virginia there is one)
The final, absolute last, official listing of money spent by the CTF on Canadian TV for the 2006/07 fiscal year, came out today. (ed. Tah Da! Fab!) But not like that.
Anyway the winner in Nova Scotia is the Halifax Film Company which received
$4,068,482 dollars of taxpayer dollars (ed. no! its from the CBC! Well, their envelope anyway, actually it came from the gov't and begrudgingly from cable company operators).
Most of the money was for kids shows Lunar Jim, Jungle Jim (ed. theme?) and Animal Jim, sorry, Animal Mechanicals. All from the mind of Jeff Rosen who years ago predicted the worlds fascination with Pirates by putting huge paper mache heads on people and having them flay their arms about as if they were talking to each other.
Also, This Hour is in there for about $400K.
(ed. Halifax film raised $20M through a share offering and is set to receive $1M in assistance from the province of Nova Scotia in payroll rebates plus $$$ from the province in tax credits and Nova Scotia Films Development money.)
Anyone want to make a shaky cam video about vampires for a BravoFact grant? My sister said we can borrow her betacam and a friend of mine has some fake fangs.
But I promised not to pick on millionairre lawyers leaving crumbs for the latest crop of aspiring Stephen Spielbergs. Go to Toronto if you want to make "filims"! you creative non-bottom line losers!
Other Nova Scotian productions (ed. for the rest of you cfa's, this doesn't stray outside the province so you might as well hit the knitting blog) include something called "Go Deep". Now unless this is a Friday night Showcase show, its probably yet another documentary about ships that have sailed. (ed. and sunk! At least show us a skeleton or two. Or have a bikini clad diver/explorer on board. Remember the poster for The Deep? Va va voom!)
There's Delilah and Julius for Teletoon in which local producers Collideascope are doing the grunt work for Decode. Decode was puchased by Halifax Film Company last year. (ed. okay, let it go. You're sounding like some sort of conspiracy nut!)
The last one on the list is Trailer Park Boys. Their CTF contribution is.............$2,771,704.
$2,771,704.
Math time.
Now I don't know if this represents the 20% License top up fee or the equity investment or a combination of both. I've read all the mind-numbing CTF Guidelines until my latest cosmopolitan hit it mark.
If it's 20% then the budget would be
$2,771,704/.2 = $13,858,000 which would be rediculous.
Let's say the license fee/equity combination is 35% of the budget. Fair enough?
$2,771,704/.35 = $7,919,514
Hell, that can't be right. Let's use 50%
$2,771,704/.5 = $5,543,000 (rounding)
Um, so that would mean that each episode of the 10 episode season would cost $554,300 each.
Um...
You all have seen Trailer Park boys, right?
Methinks this year, Bubbles get's his own furlined trailer with a golden hooker.
Hey, Michael Donovan, stop smirking.
Tuesday 15 May 2007
My Missing Agent
About an hour ago, i got off the phone after re-connecting with my agent who I haven't heard from in fifteen years. I stopped calling him because I heard he was dead, but he tells me everything's fine and that he was just waiting for the perfect project for me.
All he could tell me on the phone is that the project is a South Korean-Czech co-production with Russian oil money behind it for the European market. Jetix is the distributor. It's an animated show about a couple of crimefighters/mystery solvers/zany kung-fu fighters called "Minty Mouse" and his sidekick "Mossy Conundrum".
Now I'm hoping that between Howard's accent and the,probably, multiple translations that happened, these are not the proper names.
Anyway, Howard is going to e-mail me the bible but I shan't wait up tonight for it. I remember him fumbling for ten minutes to dial a phone with his pork sausage size fingers; I can't picture them moving swiftly around a keyboard.
All he could tell me on the phone is that the project is a South Korean-Czech co-production with Russian oil money behind it for the European market. Jetix is the distributor. It's an animated show about a couple of crimefighters/mystery solvers/zany kung-fu fighters called "Minty Mouse" and his sidekick "Mossy Conundrum".
Now I'm hoping that between Howard's accent and the,probably, multiple translations that happened, these are not the proper names.
Anyway, Howard is going to e-mail me the bible but I shan't wait up tonight for it. I remember him fumbling for ten minutes to dial a phone with his pork sausage size fingers; I can't picture them moving swiftly around a keyboard.
Monday 14 May 2007
Skipping House Tonight
I started to write this entry this morning at 8:04 A.M. I know the exact time because the fetal alcohol teen from up the hall starts screaming at that exact time each day. I can pretty well track his progress of having breakfast, dressing, Lunar Jim, then he walks down the hallway, banging his head against the wall every 2.5 seconds on his way to the short bus. I wish I could keep a regular schedule.
Anyway, Carl went out and bought a new VCR/DVD player for the apartment. I almost kissed my sister's Brazillian. I'm going to tape shows from now on and watch them at my leisure. Hello 20th Century!
My sister Stella's been whining and limping around the house lately; a visit to the doctor revealed she has an "infarction" whatever that is and how you get it, I don't know.
She and Carl were supposed to start school today but apparently her pain and his lack of initiative prevented them from going. So they lounged around, all day watching a four DVD special package of Mexican cartoons they bought at Wal-Mart.
My friend Wendall came over and, as we played computer monopoly in the bedroom, he told me about another friend who was involved in a charity called Performing Arts Lodge. Apparently its an old age home for actors. They had a fundraiser and tried to get donations from the local production community.
Now when I was involved in the community, here and elsewhere, (ed. old fart alert!) the community was pretty tight and we helped each other out all the time. (You need a sound guy for a day? I've done sound. I've got 20 feet of film leftover if you want it, that kind of thing.) But that appears to have gone by the wayside.
They tried to get the Halifax Film Company to donate, but apparently on none of their telephones can they dial out to return calls and their e-mail system does not include a "reply" button.
I remember when I was a member of the Atlantic Filmmakers co-op it became a running gag trying to get Salter Street Films (Michael Donovan's first company) to donate services, guidance, money, day old muffins. They were just too busy spending their LFP/CTF, NSFDC money (that's taxpayer money, folks). It was just too taxing to have to deal with "filmmakers" and their ilk.
(Though I do remember crashing one of Salter Street's Christmas parties. Rick Mercer made me a cosmopolitan which is still MY drink. Really all-round nice guy. But I ate so much shrimp, puked in Bill Niven's office. That guy's a class act. I knew he was pissed but he was still gracious. Not so much, and understandably so, after I puked again over his new Christmas sweater. You can never get the essence of regurgitated shrimp out of wool.)
Now I give Michael Donovan credit, he did win an oscar and he was one of the first, if not the first, to get the tv and film industry up and running from nothing in this province. But let's set up some scholarships, mentorships or something to encourage young talent. "Let my people go!" (ed. Totally inappropriate quote.)
Enough about that (ed. stop talking about people who have worked hard and forgotten to give back to the community that gave them so much.)
As you can see, I now have an editor to try and keep me on track with this blog. Fair enough...Wendall!
I haven't watched much Canadian TV since Saturday (actually I did watch a clip of 22 Minutes from their website and it was pretty good. This new guy Gavin Crawford is pretty funny. But I couldn't find any clips of Greg Thomey. Where is he? This part is way too long for brackets.) but I'll try this week.
Meanwhile my interest in Mexican cartoons has wained. They all seem to be about wrestling. So I'm just looking out the window to collect my thoughts. (ed. you would need a tiny little bucket.)
As I look at the bus stop across the street I can't help but think that after a certain age and/or poundage women should not wear those low riser jeans. And no man should ever wear them
Also, white people should never, ever have dreadlocks. I know you feel cool but you really just look stupid. (and I know that girl from 10, but she had more than cornrows to look at.)
Anyway, Carl went out and bought a new VCR/DVD player for the apartment. I almost kissed my sister's Brazillian. I'm going to tape shows from now on and watch them at my leisure. Hello 20th Century!
My sister Stella's been whining and limping around the house lately; a visit to the doctor revealed she has an "infarction" whatever that is and how you get it, I don't know.
She and Carl were supposed to start school today but apparently her pain and his lack of initiative prevented them from going. So they lounged around, all day watching a four DVD special package of Mexican cartoons they bought at Wal-Mart.
My friend Wendall came over and, as we played computer monopoly in the bedroom, he told me about another friend who was involved in a charity called Performing Arts Lodge. Apparently its an old age home for actors. They had a fundraiser and tried to get donations from the local production community.
Now when I was involved in the community, here and elsewhere, (ed. old fart alert!) the community was pretty tight and we helped each other out all the time. (You need a sound guy for a day? I've done sound. I've got 20 feet of film leftover if you want it, that kind of thing.) But that appears to have gone by the wayside.
They tried to get the Halifax Film Company to donate, but apparently on none of their telephones can they dial out to return calls and their e-mail system does not include a "reply" button.
I remember when I was a member of the Atlantic Filmmakers co-op it became a running gag trying to get Salter Street Films (Michael Donovan's first company) to donate services, guidance, money, day old muffins. They were just too busy spending their LFP/CTF, NSFDC money (that's taxpayer money, folks). It was just too taxing to have to deal with "filmmakers" and their ilk.
(Though I do remember crashing one of Salter Street's Christmas parties. Rick Mercer made me a cosmopolitan which is still MY drink. Really all-round nice guy. But I ate so much shrimp, puked in Bill Niven's office. That guy's a class act. I knew he was pissed but he was still gracious. Not so much, and understandably so, after I puked again over his new Christmas sweater. You can never get the essence of regurgitated shrimp out of wool.)
Now I give Michael Donovan credit, he did win an oscar and he was one of the first, if not the first, to get the tv and film industry up and running from nothing in this province. But let's set up some scholarships, mentorships or something to encourage young talent. "Let my people go!" (ed. Totally inappropriate quote.)
Enough about that (ed. stop talking about people who have worked hard and forgotten to give back to the community that gave them so much.)
As you can see, I now have an editor to try and keep me on track with this blog. Fair enough...Wendall!
I haven't watched much Canadian TV since Saturday (actually I did watch a clip of 22 Minutes from their website and it was pretty good. This new guy Gavin Crawford is pretty funny. But I couldn't find any clips of Greg Thomey. Where is he? This part is way too long for brackets.) but I'll try this week.
Meanwhile my interest in Mexican cartoons has wained. They all seem to be about wrestling. So I'm just looking out the window to collect my thoughts. (ed. you would need a tiny little bucket.)
As I look at the bus stop across the street I can't help but think that after a certain age and/or poundage women should not wear those low riser jeans. And no man should ever wear them
Also, white people should never, ever have dreadlocks. I know you feel cool but you really just look stupid. (and I know that girl from 10, but she had more than cornrows to look at.)
Saturday 12 May 2007
Saturday Night
Love that Flaggpole Sitta song (see previous blogs for the coolest unofficial video)
Anyway, things have calmed down here significantly. Carl starts summer school at St. Mary's on Monday, he's taking a commerce/drama/engineering mixture. Apparently his mother wants him to be well-rounded. I guess!
But it brings back memories of my days (and nights) at St. Mary's; the Gorsebrook Lounge, the drinking contests, the drunken dances. And of course the learning parts, which will always remain with me, no matter how much I try to forget.
So quick and dirty update:
- my sister, Stella, has decided to go back to school. Previously an arts major (incomplete) she wants to take a commerce/drama/engineering.... yeah, okay we can see where this is going. I constantly have to move my La-z-boy recliner so I don't have to watch Stella and Carl make goo-goo eyes at each other reflected in the big screen tv.
Okay, I promised quick and dirty;
- Per my commitment to watch more Canadian TV, I was tuned into CBC last night when a show called "The Choir Boys Gang" came on. The first fifteen minutes were, mostly a standard set-up. Choirboys, who are supposed to represent goodness are actually bad. Okay, got it. Let the comedy ensue. But not only do they act like boys their age they go beyond that, putting LSD on communion wafers.
The only saving grace was Andy Jones as the priest, who happens to be questioning his faith the same day. After he eats the wafer in front of the congregation, I was expecting to see wackiness and embarassment but Andy played it low key and it worked. He appeared befuddled but no one was the wiser and he just walked away and ended up in the graveyard asking a vison of Jesus a lot of religeous questions.
Jesus's response was to run and hide behind tombstones.
It was written by Norm Hiscock who I think was a stand-up in Canada years ago and went to the states to work on the Roseanne show. So I think I'll give this show another try.
The odd thing was that I had never heard of this show existing, in development, coming etc. Oh, wait, CBC fired all it's publicity people last year.
- Also watched G-Spot again, This is like "Sex in the City" if "Sex in the City" was funny and not stupid and smarmy. I like this show and the girls...as charactesr.
- Watched Bliss. This is only the second time I've watched this show and either I saw a repeat or its the same all the time. It was about a girl who lives her life in her apartment with an operational web-cam and people watch her do everyday stuff and get naked. (Though the two are not mutually exclusive.) But I'll save you the trouble of watching it by writing a summary. "She" has brought a new boyfriend back for sex.
He: So people watch you do, like everyday stuff, all the time? Even naked?
She: Sure. (though, they're not mutually exclusiv). I want you to do it with me.
He: No. And I don't want you to do it.
She: I'm doing it.
After 10-15 minutes of individual soul-searching, he's naked in front of the camera when she enters.
She: You're doing it?
He: Yes, and I want you to do it with me.
She: No. And I'm not going to do it anymore.
k. I missed a Family Guy re-run for this.
Time to log off as Carl and Stella are making noises on the couch behind me. Guess I'll go into the bedroom and watch the non-cable channels really loud.
If only I could leave the apartment.
Anyway, things have calmed down here significantly. Carl starts summer school at St. Mary's on Monday, he's taking a commerce/drama/engineering mixture. Apparently his mother wants him to be well-rounded. I guess!
But it brings back memories of my days (and nights) at St. Mary's; the Gorsebrook Lounge, the drinking contests, the drunken dances. And of course the learning parts, which will always remain with me, no matter how much I try to forget.
So quick and dirty update:
- my sister, Stella, has decided to go back to school. Previously an arts major (incomplete) she wants to take a commerce/drama/engineering.... yeah, okay we can see where this is going. I constantly have to move my La-z-boy recliner so I don't have to watch Stella and Carl make goo-goo eyes at each other reflected in the big screen tv.
Okay, I promised quick and dirty;
- Per my commitment to watch more Canadian TV, I was tuned into CBC last night when a show called "The Choir Boys Gang" came on. The first fifteen minutes were, mostly a standard set-up. Choirboys, who are supposed to represent goodness are actually bad. Okay, got it. Let the comedy ensue. But not only do they act like boys their age they go beyond that, putting LSD on communion wafers.
The only saving grace was Andy Jones as the priest, who happens to be questioning his faith the same day. After he eats the wafer in front of the congregation, I was expecting to see wackiness and embarassment but Andy played it low key and it worked. He appeared befuddled but no one was the wiser and he just walked away and ended up in the graveyard asking a vison of Jesus a lot of religeous questions.
Jesus's response was to run and hide behind tombstones.
It was written by Norm Hiscock who I think was a stand-up in Canada years ago and went to the states to work on the Roseanne show. So I think I'll give this show another try.
The odd thing was that I had never heard of this show existing, in development, coming etc. Oh, wait, CBC fired all it's publicity people last year.
- Also watched G-Spot again, This is like "Sex in the City" if "Sex in the City" was funny and not stupid and smarmy. I like this show and the girls...as charactesr.
- Watched Bliss. This is only the second time I've watched this show and either I saw a repeat or its the same all the time. It was about a girl who lives her life in her apartment with an operational web-cam and people watch her do everyday stuff and get naked. (Though the two are not mutually exclusive.) But I'll save you the trouble of watching it by writing a summary. "She" has brought a new boyfriend back for sex.
He: So people watch you do, like everyday stuff, all the time? Even naked?
She: Sure. (though, they're not mutually exclusiv). I want you to do it with me.
He: No. And I don't want you to do it.
She: I'm doing it.
After 10-15 minutes of individual soul-searching, he's naked in front of the camera when she enters.
She: You're doing it?
He: Yes, and I want you to do it with me.
She: No. And I'm not going to do it anymore.
k. I missed a Family Guy re-run for this.
Time to log off as Carl and Stella are making noises on the couch behind me. Guess I'll go into the bedroom and watch the non-cable channels really loud.
If only I could leave the apartment.
Wednesday 9 May 2007
The Man in Back.
My sister Stella and our resident exchange student, Carl, took my dog, Biscuitface, out for his nightly walk so I have time to blog.
Off and on, Im still reading my book about Johnny Cash. A few things I've learned; he was called "The Man in Back" because growing up, his church was crowded and he had a big family so he always offered to stand...in the back.
Other questions were resolved in a dramatic fashion:
Q. Johnny, why were you in prison?
A. Never was.
Q. Why do you always wear black?
A. I don't.
These were real questions he addressed in the book (I may have to re-address the back/black thing). Although I'm not one for celebrity gossip, I find myself flipping ahead for some sort of dramatic revelations.
Meanwhile, I received an e-mail from my agent. I bring this up because it's astounding for several reasons.
#1 I thought he was dead.
I sent a sympathy card and everything. And that was fifteen years ago when he was over 100 years old!
But apparently, he's still alive and living in his birth house in East Vancouver. Even when I visited him back then, I don't think reality had caught up with him. (Whenever he heard the term "crack house" he always giggled thinking it a rude term for something else.)
As my fervent readers know, I used to write a lot of childrens tv back in the day. But I gave that up when my ideas started being rejected as "too old." The final straw came when a Vancouver producer told me after I submitted a first draft for a Bart Simpson-esque show, that I was out of the loop.
"The dialogue is too Bart Simpson-ish."
I was flabergasted. (And up to this point only my grandmother ever been flabergasted in our family. But Ireland, at the time did not consider that illegal or even in bad taste.)
Ummmm, how do I respond to this? The debate was between "wanna eat and goddamn common sense basic writing". But my cable bill was due so I said "tell me how to make it better" and my internal voice continued "oh great one who wouldn't know story, if story came up to you wearing a sign saying "hi, I'm story" and bit you on the ass!"
But she then fired me and gave the script to her "right-hand man" of a story editor. (Who later stabbed her in the back which was bad, but who would I root for there?)
So, I never had the opportunity to incorporate her "notes" and only got paid for the first draft. I thought at the time,"my bad" which was a popular saying at the time.
Then a year later, I'm watching TV and the show in question comes on and dammit; they're airing my episode. Well, as a writer, this is a perfect opportunity for me to learn where I went wrong by studying the changes made to the script I wrote.
And I watched slackjawed.
Nothing had been changed from my first draft.
Who do I call; the producer? The Broadcaster? Telefilm? My Mother?
Aw, life.
But maybe my agent, is back in the game and inviting me to play again. What the hell, I've got nothing but time.
Off and on, Im still reading my book about Johnny Cash. A few things I've learned; he was called "The Man in Back" because growing up, his church was crowded and he had a big family so he always offered to stand...in the back.
Other questions were resolved in a dramatic fashion:
Q. Johnny, why were you in prison?
A. Never was.
Q. Why do you always wear black?
A. I don't.
These were real questions he addressed in the book (I may have to re-address the back/black thing). Although I'm not one for celebrity gossip, I find myself flipping ahead for some sort of dramatic revelations.
Meanwhile, I received an e-mail from my agent. I bring this up because it's astounding for several reasons.
#1 I thought he was dead.
I sent a sympathy card and everything. And that was fifteen years ago when he was over 100 years old!
But apparently, he's still alive and living in his birth house in East Vancouver. Even when I visited him back then, I don't think reality had caught up with him. (Whenever he heard the term "crack house" he always giggled thinking it a rude term for something else.)
As my fervent readers know, I used to write a lot of childrens tv back in the day. But I gave that up when my ideas started being rejected as "too old." The final straw came when a Vancouver producer told me after I submitted a first draft for a Bart Simpson-esque show, that I was out of the loop.
"The dialogue is too Bart Simpson-ish."
I was flabergasted. (And up to this point only my grandmother ever been flabergasted in our family. But Ireland, at the time did not consider that illegal or even in bad taste.)
Ummmm, how do I respond to this? The debate was between "wanna eat and goddamn common sense basic writing". But my cable bill was due so I said "tell me how to make it better" and my internal voice continued "oh great one who wouldn't know story, if story came up to you wearing a sign saying "hi, I'm story" and bit you on the ass!"
But she then fired me and gave the script to her "right-hand man" of a story editor. (Who later stabbed her in the back which was bad, but who would I root for there?)
So, I never had the opportunity to incorporate her "notes" and only got paid for the first draft. I thought at the time,"my bad" which was a popular saying at the time.
Then a year later, I'm watching TV and the show in question comes on and dammit; they're airing my episode. Well, as a writer, this is a perfect opportunity for me to learn where I went wrong by studying the changes made to the script I wrote.
And I watched slackjawed.
Nothing had been changed from my first draft.
Who do I call; the producer? The Broadcaster? Telefilm? My Mother?
Aw, life.
But maybe my agent, is back in the game and inviting me to play again. What the hell, I've got nothing but time.
Tuesday 8 May 2007
Brazil 2, Parrots 0
Carl, our Brazilian exchange student, had new furniture delivered to our apartment today. From the La-z-boy store! Now, as much as I'm against pronouncing "z" as "zee" I cannot complain about new rocker recliners with massage built in. The Americans can have the last letter of the alphabet for all I care.
And seeing as it was warm today, we all decided to have a bar-b-que on the balcony but I don't think we should have let Carl do it. His idea of a bar-b-que was to light a pile of old furniture on fire. The footstool was okay, but the couch smoked a lot.
He decided, as a "treat", to cook the second parrot he brought from Brazil with him and share it with us. Like the other, it seemed resigned to its fate of being bludgoned. Stoic, it didn't make a peep. Those ice flow protestors would have been beside themselves.
I was especially impressed when I saw the look in it's eyes, as Carl wailed away on it with a rolling pin; it seemed to say "is that all you've got?"
Anyway, the bird was not actually a parrot according to my sister Stella's translation, it was apparently a rare "Shlumpvee" or something like that. Apparently there's not many left in the jungles of Brazil and I can understand why, they are delicious!
It's Tuesday night and as promised I'm trying to catch up on my Canadian TV. I always try to watch George S. on The Hour but sometimes his bobbing and weaving image on the big screen plays havoc on my vertigo after a few cosmopolitans.
And seeing as it was warm today, we all decided to have a bar-b-que on the balcony but I don't think we should have let Carl do it. His idea of a bar-b-que was to light a pile of old furniture on fire. The footstool was okay, but the couch smoked a lot.
He decided, as a "treat", to cook the second parrot he brought from Brazil with him and share it with us. Like the other, it seemed resigned to its fate of being bludgoned. Stoic, it didn't make a peep. Those ice flow protestors would have been beside themselves.
I was especially impressed when I saw the look in it's eyes, as Carl wailed away on it with a rolling pin; it seemed to say "is that all you've got?"
Anyway, the bird was not actually a parrot according to my sister Stella's translation, it was apparently a rare "Shlumpvee" or something like that. Apparently there's not many left in the jungles of Brazil and I can understand why, they are delicious!
It's Tuesday night and as promised I'm trying to catch up on my Canadian TV. I always try to watch George S. on The Hour but sometimes his bobbing and weaving image on the big screen plays havoc on my vertigo after a few cosmopolitans.
Monday 7 May 2007
Health Care Alert! And "The G-Spot". (The TV show)
I thought I would pass along a warning about a dangerous entity that may be in your house!
Last night as I was watching The Simpsons with Carl and Stella, I was enjoying a (okay, several) cosmopoliton(s). As usual, to maximise the enjoyment, I was using my vintage Underdog swirly straw. As I was imbibing, I realized my drink tasted "funny". I drank from the glass and it was okay, so maybe the straw...
When I held the straw up to the light and looked inside, I was horrified. There was mold in there! And it was on the straight part!. I shuddered to imagine what lurked in the twisty turns of the straw. And, with a backpack full of regret, I made the decision to cut it open. I had to see.
What I found in there would make the Black Death seem palatable. I haven't been sick but this mould may be the kind that grows and slowly suffocates you from the inside out. The logical part of my brain tells me, I'll be all right but the emotional side... my imagination is a curse.
I try to make my mind think of other things. Like the show G-Spot I watched the other night. It was actually pretty funny and the sex scenes were done in quite good taste, I thought. Though I think they must have Cg'd the bobsled guy, and they overdid it at that.
But overall another funny Canadian show. Now I'm going to check my vintage lunchboxes. i can't remember ever opening my Partridge Family box after I finished the tenth grade. And I always had tuna.
Last night as I was watching The Simpsons with Carl and Stella, I was enjoying a (okay, several) cosmopoliton(s). As usual, to maximise the enjoyment, I was using my vintage Underdog swirly straw. As I was imbibing, I realized my drink tasted "funny". I drank from the glass and it was okay, so maybe the straw...
When I held the straw up to the light and looked inside, I was horrified. There was mold in there! And it was on the straight part!. I shuddered to imagine what lurked in the twisty turns of the straw. And, with a backpack full of regret, I made the decision to cut it open. I had to see.
What I found in there would make the Black Death seem palatable. I haven't been sick but this mould may be the kind that grows and slowly suffocates you from the inside out. The logical part of my brain tells me, I'll be all right but the emotional side... my imagination is a curse.
I try to make my mind think of other things. Like the show G-Spot I watched the other night. It was actually pretty funny and the sex scenes were done in quite good taste, I thought. Though I think they must have Cg'd the bobsled guy, and they overdid it at that.
But overall another funny Canadian show. Now I'm going to check my vintage lunchboxes. i can't remember ever opening my Partridge Family box after I finished the tenth grade. And I always had tuna.
Sunday 6 May 2007
Yippee KiYa Mom!
This is good. The best of Die Hard with a theme song and a sneak peak at Die Hard 4?
Saturday 5 May 2007
Small, Small, World
So I'm enjoying Patton on the big screen TV that Carl bought for the apartment (and George C., we all know the oscar was not worthy enough, that's why ) when during the tank part, there's a ruckus in the bedroom. My sister Stella went in there with our exchange student Carl to watch a renovating show or something on our old TV, when she exploded into the living room.
I tried to stay focused on the movie but soon gave up. Carl and Stella have been spending a lot of time together, she's trying to aclimatize her Brazillian to Halifax, but this is the first time I've heard an altercation. She came out yelling at him, "be more careful because I hate facials!" Now, to me, I can't see how one person can suddenly surprise another with a skin care treatment, and I can't see how this would upset them so; aloe doesn't even sting! But I've been accused of taking Carl's side before, so I'm staying out of it.
As they've ruined the movie for me I'm checking the old blog and thought I would answer a question or two. I don't usually allow comments because, well frankly I don' care.
And I usually ignore questions because other peoples questions about the things I'm un-naturally obsessed with, strike me as stupid. But what the hell, it's Saturday night so I'll open up the floor.
I tried to stay focused on the movie but soon gave up. Carl and Stella have been spending a lot of time together, she's trying to aclimatize her Brazillian to Halifax, but this is the first time I've heard an altercation. She came out yelling at him, "be more careful because I hate facials!" Now, to me, I can't see how one person can suddenly surprise another with a skin care treatment, and I can't see how this would upset them so; aloe doesn't even sting! But I've been accused of taking Carl's side before, so I'm staying out of it.
As they've ruined the movie for me I'm checking the old blog and thought I would answer a question or two. I don't usually allow comments because, well frankly I don' care.
And I usually ignore questions because other peoples questions about the things I'm un-naturally obsessed with, strike me as stupid. But what the hell, it's Saturday night so I'll open up the floor.
Thursday 3 May 2007
Tom Poston, Andy Jones
Finally alone in the apartment. Carl bought a new Huyndai today and from what Stella, my sister, tells me and from what I can see from my window, it has all the bells and whistles one would expect from a south korean car.
Anyway, Carl and Stella went for a drive and they took Biscuitface along. My dog certainly has taken a shine to our new South American roommate, but that's okay, dogs are notoriously fickle, isn't that what they're known for?! (Sure throw Lassie in my face but my hero was always The Littlest Hobo. Never an owner, just tramping from town to town solving petty thefts and accounting frauds.)
Tom Poston died the other day. Man, what a class act he was. Surfing other blogs, I found out that he was originally supposed to be Maxwell Smart in Get Smart! Also, I was surprised when I learned, during a Kennedy Centre special for Bob Newhart (another class act, Bob I want to have your child(ren)) that Tom was married to Suzanne Pleshette (sic), another classy comedic actor (tres).
Speaking of class, Andy Jones is appearing on stage this weekend and next in his own one man show during the Atlantic Thetre Festival. Now, some of you young'ins may not be aware of Andy's work but he was a founding member of CODCO which had its own tv show back in the eighties. He was a founding member of a groundbreaking comedy troupe that ruled Newfoundland and the CBC for years. The other more prominent members were the late great Tommy Sexton, Cathy Jones, Mary Walsh, and the great Greg Malone.
Now most of you blogees will not be in Halifax to see the show (cause you might fall off the edge of the universe) but too bad. Hopefully, Andy will take the show on the road. He is one of the smartest satirests around. Not overt (thank you Air Farce, we'll call you) but so subtle he makes you feel smart if you can figure him out. Even if you can't (I include myself in this) you still have a laugh.
Why doesn't this man have his own TV show? It's criminal and I will fix it. As long as I have a breath in my body and I am able to leave the apartment he will rise again! Dammit!
Anyway, Carl and Stella went for a drive and they took Biscuitface along. My dog certainly has taken a shine to our new South American roommate, but that's okay, dogs are notoriously fickle, isn't that what they're known for?! (Sure throw Lassie in my face but my hero was always The Littlest Hobo. Never an owner, just tramping from town to town solving petty thefts and accounting frauds.)
Tom Poston died the other day. Man, what a class act he was. Surfing other blogs, I found out that he was originally supposed to be Maxwell Smart in Get Smart! Also, I was surprised when I learned, during a Kennedy Centre special for Bob Newhart (another class act, Bob I want to have your child(ren)) that Tom was married to Suzanne Pleshette (sic), another classy comedic actor (tres).
Speaking of class, Andy Jones is appearing on stage this weekend and next in his own one man show during the Atlantic Thetre Festival. Now, some of you young'ins may not be aware of Andy's work but he was a founding member of CODCO which had its own tv show back in the eighties. He was a founding member of a groundbreaking comedy troupe that ruled Newfoundland and the CBC for years. The other more prominent members were the late great Tommy Sexton, Cathy Jones, Mary Walsh, and the great Greg Malone.
Now most of you blogees will not be in Halifax to see the show (cause you might fall off the edge of the universe) but too bad. Hopefully, Andy will take the show on the road. He is one of the smartest satirests around. Not overt (thank you Air Farce, we'll call you) but so subtle he makes you feel smart if you can figure him out. Even if you can't (I include myself in this) you still have a laugh.
Why doesn't this man have his own TV show? It's criminal and I will fix it. As long as I have a breath in my body and I am able to leave the apartment he will rise again! Dammit!
Wednesday 2 May 2007
What is That Smell....?
Hey,
Spent all day watching uraguay play Senagal play football on Carl's big screen tv. Felt very comfotable and kinda giddy at times. I think Carl's Brazilian incense he's been burning all day is not just to ward off wombats. My sister Stella and Carl have gone out to get Whoppers with cheese for everyone. they took Biscuitface for the walk which was probably a good idea s he was feeling a bit "spacey" (his word, not mine!) But Back att the computor I feel semi-normal. Well, as semi-normal as I get, ha ha hahahaah.
I was going to put a funny picture of a Darth Vader hot air ballooon here but my frikin comouter can't do that for me. Bastttarrdddd!
Sorry, I'm sorry. I should not have said (typed) that. I guess I could just go back and delete that but, really, you can't do that in real life so I stnad by my letters all ordered into words like that!
Anyway, have you ever really looked at your ham? oops, I mean hand. Member that show Time Tunnel? That was awesome. and remember that episode of six million dollar man with the sasquatch? They go through that tunnel that rotates? Ripley's Believe it or not museum in PEI has one of those. Its very disorienting and I feel like that now. I also took the Universal tour in LA and was just waiting for Bruce to break the surface of the lake when these Japanese tourists stood up in the tram and I got distracted and missed the breaching. Damn them! Oh, my Whopper is here! Yes, I want fries with that! Ha!
Spent all day watching uraguay play Senagal play football on Carl's big screen tv. Felt very comfotable and kinda giddy at times. I think Carl's Brazilian incense he's been burning all day is not just to ward off wombats. My sister Stella and Carl have gone out to get Whoppers with cheese for everyone. they took Biscuitface for the walk which was probably a good idea s he was feeling a bit "spacey" (his word, not mine!) But Back att the computor I feel semi-normal. Well, as semi-normal as I get, ha ha hahahaah.
I was going to put a funny picture of a Darth Vader hot air ballooon here but my frikin comouter can't do that for me. Bastttarrdddd!
Sorry, I'm sorry. I should not have said (typed) that. I guess I could just go back and delete that but, really, you can't do that in real life so I stnad by my letters all ordered into words like that!
Anyway, have you ever really looked at your ham? oops, I mean hand. Member that show Time Tunnel? That was awesome. and remember that episode of six million dollar man with the sasquatch? They go through that tunnel that rotates? Ripley's Believe it or not museum in PEI has one of those. Its very disorienting and I feel like that now. I also took the Universal tour in LA and was just waiting for Bruce to break the surface of the lake when these Japanese tourists stood up in the tram and I got distracted and missed the breaching. Damn them! Oh, my Whopper is here! Yes, I want fries with that! Ha!
Tuesday 1 May 2007
Oh, You Big Old Flaty!!!
I couldn't resist Carl's flatscreen tv. I was going to put my Apocolypse Now dvd on with the stereo system set to stun (take that, Old Man Elmer next door!), but i started to channel surf just as a test drive. I came across Billable Hours on Showcase. I caught only the last fifteen minutes but it was funny. The previous episode I watched year(s) ago, I thought was reminicent of an american sitcom but maybe it was too many cosmopolitans at the time. This was dark (miscarriage and cancer for laughs, yeah, baby) and pretty funny.
Then Rescue Me came on and well, it is THE BEST SHOW EVER!!!! So I'm off to finish watching that before Carl comes home and puts soccer (football, I know) back on.
Not that some sort of order has been restored, I'll get back to my goal of watching more Canadian TV. After all that's what this blog is all about.
Then Rescue Me came on and well, it is THE BEST SHOW EVER!!!! So I'm off to finish watching that before Carl comes home and puts soccer (football, I know) back on.
Not that some sort of order has been restored, I'll get back to my goal of watching more Canadian TV. After all that's what this blog is all about.
Chaos Reigns
Okay, I haven't blogged lately as things have been happening at a rate too fast for me to keep up with. Our normally placid apartment has been inundated with a Brazilian. Stella's exchange student showed up two or three days ago (I can't keep track, I've been unable to sleep since.)
After he slept for 24 hours (jet lag, culture shock, intestinal parasites raging through his system and multiplying, waiting for me to go to sleep so they can invade my crevices like out of some lost episode of Night Gallery?!), he awoke, got dressed in the finest italian suit I've seen east of ...Italy and left the apartment. (?)
A brief solitary respite for me before Stella, my sister, arrived home from Kamloops and our father's funeral. I was barely able to describe to her the chaos that was happening here when she broke down sobbing, distraught over dear old daddy's passing. How could I not roll my eyes at this sight? After all, our Father languised all of two minutes of attention on her in her lifetime, and I'm not counting the time he came home drunk, and tripped over her when she was 1, which explains one of the dents in her head.
But then her Brazillian soon had our undivided attention. The rest of this I was able to get from Stella, she does speak Spanish (or Portugese. It all sounds the same and I know I can just look it up on the net but...so very tired).
It turns out that Carl (she said that's the english equivalent of his name) was raised in the interior rain forest of Brazil for the first 16 years of his life. But then his family sold said rainforest for Billions! Who knew bushmen had the concept of money, never mind that they're ruthless negotiators?
Anyway, the rainforest is being mowed down to make chopsticks and monkey hats while Carl and his family acquired a taste for 21st Century civilization. They jetsetted around the world, buying condos, cars and faded celebrities (his father was chuffed he was able to acquire Charo for so little money. Wait'll he unwraps that!)
But Carl's Mother demanded that the children receive an education. How they decided he should come to St. Mary's University in Halifax, will have to wait for another time.
So, we have a houseguest for the summer who is a mix of the new (we now have a HUGE flatscreen tv!) and the old. (Carl ate one of the giant parrots that he hd shipped from home. Even when he was bludgening it, it refused to talk. Really, these parrots would have kept things from the cia and the marines!)
Stella and Carl have gone out for coffee, (he drinks about 5 gallons a day) taking Biscuithead for a walk. I want to sleep but that big screen tv is calling.
After he slept for 24 hours (jet lag, culture shock, intestinal parasites raging through his system and multiplying, waiting for me to go to sleep so they can invade my crevices like out of some lost episode of Night Gallery?!), he awoke, got dressed in the finest italian suit I've seen east of ...Italy and left the apartment. (?)
A brief solitary respite for me before Stella, my sister, arrived home from Kamloops and our father's funeral. I was barely able to describe to her the chaos that was happening here when she broke down sobbing, distraught over dear old daddy's passing. How could I not roll my eyes at this sight? After all, our Father languised all of two minutes of attention on her in her lifetime, and I'm not counting the time he came home drunk, and tripped over her when she was 1, which explains one of the dents in her head.
But then her Brazillian soon had our undivided attention. The rest of this I was able to get from Stella, she does speak Spanish (or Portugese. It all sounds the same and I know I can just look it up on the net but...so very tired).
It turns out that Carl (she said that's the english equivalent of his name) was raised in the interior rain forest of Brazil for the first 16 years of his life. But then his family sold said rainforest for Billions! Who knew bushmen had the concept of money, never mind that they're ruthless negotiators?
Anyway, the rainforest is being mowed down to make chopsticks and monkey hats while Carl and his family acquired a taste for 21st Century civilization. They jetsetted around the world, buying condos, cars and faded celebrities (his father was chuffed he was able to acquire Charo for so little money. Wait'll he unwraps that!)
But Carl's Mother demanded that the children receive an education. How they decided he should come to St. Mary's University in Halifax, will have to wait for another time.
So, we have a houseguest for the summer who is a mix of the new (we now have a HUGE flatscreen tv!) and the old. (Carl ate one of the giant parrots that he hd shipped from home. Even when he was bludgening it, it refused to talk. Really, these parrots would have kept things from the cia and the marines!)
Stella and Carl have gone out for coffee, (he drinks about 5 gallons a day) taking Biscuithead for a walk. I want to sleep but that big screen tv is calling.
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