Big Things in Store for CBC!

My sister's boyfriend Carlo has returned and cause he's rich and feeling guilty about walking out on Stella, he brought all kinds-o-gifts! For Stella, he's brought flowers, chocolates, and enough Bling that he must have denudded East-side L.A. of gold chains.

For my editor, Lunchmeat Harold, (ed. Howdy!) he had a "Red" camera delivered. Lunchmeat is an amatuer moviemaker (ed. Filmmaker!)and thought he was doing the world of art a service by making a 300 part documentary on how a bright red shirt gradually devolves and loses its colour after continuous washings. Each part, he's filmed 125 so far, doesn't show the whole washing machine cycle, he fast motions them down to 5 minutes each. (ed. the whole cycle would be kind of silly, don'tcha think?). And for even more artistic integrity he shot them on a Fisher-Price Camcorder from the seventies. But now he has this professional "Red" video camera and he's ecstatic. I have no idea what's so special about it, but there's a button on it that says Time Shift, which I'm hoping allows him to see the future. (ed. and it is mine!)

Carlo brought a gift for Karlie too, a bag of white powder, which is unfortunate because Karlie has (ed. Had) gone eight weeks without a sniff, injection, inhallation, or insertion of any kind of narcotic. Carlo meant well, but she immediately retreated to her room (ed. which is actually just a pantry with tufts of grass in it for bedding.) and now all we can hear is the sound of snorting followed by some religious exclamations.

(ed. she's praying at the Church of the Holy Jesus Look at the Colours!)

And Carlo boght me a huge flat screen tv/computer monitor, to replace the one we had to give the super in exchange for a months rent. It's fantastic and the first thing I did was go to the CBC on-line store and order the complete Air-Farce boxed DVD collection before they all sell out. (ed. that's the set with the mini chicken canon). And believe me on this humongus set, all the items in the store look big. Hence the title of this entry. (ed. oh, man, a long way and too much exposition for that bit.)

And for his son/daughter, Carlo brought a $1M worth of toys. And I'm not being unliteral.

And just because he's an inbred royal, Carlo also brought a small mammal-like critter, not unlike a tiny elephant with a half-trunk, if you will. Apparently they are endangered and illegal to catch and send outside the country but Carlo has access to some sort of diplomatic pouches. Hence another endangered species gets closer to the brink of extinction. I was going to protest but the thing just smelled so good while it was roasting.

But now back to what this blog is really supposed to be about. TV!

Corner Gas is calling it quits and Trailer Park Boys is done. Strange, in the past the networks would just put a lock on the door at the end of the shooting but now people seem interested in what's happening.

My CTF bulliten collector sent me a message that the Fund had "found" $12M. WTF? Did it fall out of Jim Shaw's pocket when he was sitting on the couch there while he was waiting to see the A Team?

More stuff soon as the baby is trying to sleep and is startled by keystrokes.


Quarter pounders

Halifax Film? Who Needs Ya? Not me!

As I blogged last night, things have careened into an entirely new direction. First let me intro my editor tonight Lunchmeat Harold (ed. Howdy!).

Things had gotten a bit desperate around here after I lost my job, my sister Stella got pregnant and couldn't work and my roommate Karly, couldn't quit cold turkey the Jones', if you know what I mean.

I had tried to restart my writing career and sent numerous show ideas to Halifax Film, the world's most important animated children's content provider. (ed. they make cartoons, and your host owns 1000 shares so he's a bit biased.)

Nevertheless, although I sent numerous pitches to the company, they have been apparently too busy ignoring them to reply. And although Karlie could get out of bed to pay the rent (ed. actually, no. That's where she made the rent.) other expenses like food, electricity, the latest House DVD box set. (ed. thank God for Showcase) suffered. But now I don't need them.

Things are looking up, up, up! Last Thursday, Stella went into convultions, (ed. contractions) and fearing an "Alien" type explosion of a fetus from her chest and skuteling across the floor, (ed. that would have been so cool!) I called 911. Minutes later, the ambulance jockies appeared and soon had my sister's half-Brazillian in their grasp. (ed. the father is Brazillian.)

They took my sister and her baby to the hospital for a few days, and when they came back, Carlo was with them! He's the Father and I never thought I would be so happy to see him. Apparently the tribe he comes from in Brazil has such fine tuned homing instincts that he knew Stella was going to birth his prodegy. And he tracked her down. And coming from Royalty and money, (ed. his family were hill people who squatted over a mound of earth holding a Quintillion gallons of oil), he brought gifts.

Sorry but I have to log-off and help with the baby. S/he's so cool. More tomorrow. Oh, and stuff about TV, too.

Halifax Film? More Important Stuff, I suppose. (?)

God, I love question marks in brackets as if, it may be a question or it may mean I know more than you. Or do I?

Hi Folks,

I know its been a while since I blogged but thing have been popping around here, and I mean that literally. My sister Stella has reproduced! And her Brazillian has reappeared. I'll be back to update tomorrow especially for the guy who keeps e-mailing about my dog Biscuitface. He's fine! Okay? There's humans in peril here too, ya know!