From the Desk of Belinda Stronach

Dearest Daddy,

Hope all is well. I am fine and things here in Ottawa are going along, as well as can be expected.

Peanut and Cleo came up for a shopping spree and we had a blast as always. It's always fun to watch Peanut walk behind a civilian and mimic the way they walk down the street, especially if its an immigrant.

We went clothes shopping and I found the most scrumptious black off the shoulder dress. But I thought, in this dreary town, where am I going to wear it? A party? Ha!, I say. "Parties" here are photo opportunities and not of the Entertainment Weekly kind. The Ottawa Citizen, maybe, but really....

So, there's not much new, I go to that house thingy when Beatrix, my assistant says I have too. My God! This is the most boring thing I've been a part of since Jalinka had six kittens. Really, I'm glad I only stayed for the first half of one kitten as the video tape really didn't offer anything new after that. Maybe if a cat gave birth in the House of Parliament it would be interesting. For like ten seconds!

But Daddy, I'm writing for a super important reason. You know, I've always wanted to be president of Canada, like Bill in his country, but it's just not working out. It was okay when we first got elected to an MP seat, but all the cool kids were on the Liberal side. So I, of course, went over there, cause even Beatrix said the Conservatables were going to lose. And you know me, when there's a popular party!

But then, Petey, got so PO'd at me! He said I couldn't just switch like that as if there were no differences between the parties. If I had talked to him in person I think I would have laughed.

Instead Beatrix passed along a message that was at once strident and sad. Then he's like all that on tv on his Daddy's farm, with his dog, saying our breakup was a surprise and boo hoo hoo. Please! The man does not understand women! Or future leaders of the, whatever, party's in power.

So then great, the conservatibles win. Christ, pardon my french, heh, heh. But what can I do? I sit in that damn house, poor lighting, uncomfortable and unfashionable as it is.

I ask questions about the lighting... about the static colours... I am ignored and sometimes even mocked! Meanwhile, people keep calling me from my riding complaining about property taxes and zoning laws. I guess I care like this much (I holding my thumb and finger, like a millimeter apart)!

And then Petey calls me a dog! In front of all my friends!!!!!!! Jerk!!


But still I held my head up high. And when they lost, the Liberals did what they always do and quit. Everyone was soooooo shocked when Paul quit. I knew, call it my political instinct, that he was going to quit. The day of the announcement he wore a solid red tie. Need I say more.

But, the wine is kicking in so I'm going to say what I've been meaning to say. I have been a very strong girl and I have come further than anyone, but you, in accomplishments in our family.

Daddy, I want to come home. I hate it here. It's too cold and the people are so unattractive.

You were right. About politics. And girls. And me.

I hope that you can find a place for me in the family business, cause I've gone out, spread my wings and now I'm willing to work for my supper as you're so often saying.

I'm willing to work hard, starting at the bottom in Magna, not just being a name on the door but to contribute as much as I've contributed to this country (references available). I'm hoping that I can ensure your trust as the new Executive in Charge of Something and I hope the person who had this position previously gets a good compensation package, though I may need them to assist me for a while.


Belinda